First Plants Caused Ice Ages, New Research Reveals (Science Daily)

As first plants emerged,
Atmosphere lost CO2,
Temperatures tumbled.

Go to article.

Facebook to go public in billion-dollar IPO (ABC)

From college dorm room
Society was transformed,
Now purchase your share.

Go to article.

Disabled NSW kids to get their buses soon (SBS)

Disabled stranded,
Contractors offered more pay,
Kids to ride again!

Go to article.

ABBA album preview (music-news.com)

New ABBA release,
First since 1994,
Here we go again.

Go to article.

Djokovic wins epic final (ABC)

Tennis history,
In longest ever final,

Djokovic victor.

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Victoria Azarenka hails 'dream' Australian Open triumph (BBC)

Grand slam down under,
Azarenka wins open,
New world number 1.

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Bill Gates: I don't pay enough tax (BBC)

Richest man on earth,
Refuses to pay taxes,
What a massive twat!

Author: Fred Palmer
Go to article.

Solar storms trigger stunning displays of Northern Lights (Birmingham Mail)

Intense solar storms,
Magic aurora display,
Rare sight for UK.

Go to article.

Heidi Klum, Seal confirm split (ABC)

After three children,
And seven years of marriage,
Seal and Klum part ways.

Go to article.

Brazil police storm landless settlement near Sao Paulo (BBC)

Riot police storm,
Operation eviction,
Settlement reclaimed.

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Can oldies Beckham and Giggs really be golden at the Olympics? (Sports review)

The 'golden oldies',
Veterans may reunite
For Olympic dream.

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Meryl Streep Devastated She Swore On Stage At Golden Globes (entertainmentwise)

At the Golden Globes
Meryl 'Iron Lady' Streep
Swears in trophy win.

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Australian researchers name rare horsefly after Beyonce (Metro)

Fun taxonomy,
Fly's 'Goldmember' derrière
receives pop-star name.

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US warns of Bangkok terrorist threat (SMH)

US tracks suspects,
Tourists warned in Thai kingdom,
Terror threat looming.

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Web addicts have brain changes, research suggests (BBC)

Addictive web-use,
Disrupted brain connections,
Like drugs or drinking.

Go to article.

Russian baby disappears in sewer (ABC)

Pavement collapses,
Woman and stroller rescued,
No baby in sight.

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Rihanna Confirms Beyonce's Baby Girl's Birth via Twitter (ibtimes)

With Jay-Z's blueprint
Blue Ivy Carter arrives,
Lookin' so crazy!

Go to article.

Seabird hunting ban proposed by Icelandic scientists (Icenews)

Complete protection
Seen as only way to save
Five species at risk.

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Advantage Australia as Clarke's triple ton puts hosts in box seat (SMH)

A cricket legend,
Declares short of great record,
A true team-player.

Go to article.

Bloc Party demo new album in New York (music-news.com)

Back from hiatus,
Bloc Party in the US
Begin fourth album.

Go to article.

New Year's Eve 2012: Celebrations around the world (BBC)

World celebrations,
Fireworks ring in new year,
All parties and smiles.

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English city deters teens with pig dung (SBS)

Alcohol, weed, drugs,
All hoped to be removed with
Spreading of pig-dung.

Go to article.

'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' reboot set to be scrapped (NME)

Buffy put on ice,

Screenwriter slain for shit work,

Film may be slain too.

Go to article.

Bush bandit 'surviving on roo and wombat' (SMH)

Despite large man-hunt,
Wanted man remains concealed,
Raw bush-meat sustains.

Go to article.

Oxford Street stabbing: Teenager dies near sports store (BBC)

Shopping tragedies,

Thousands shocked on Oxford Street

As young men are stabbed.

Go to article.

First Earth-sized planets spotted (BBC)

A so-called Earth-twin,
Planet like ours discovered,
Too much heat for life.

Go to article.

Beyonce's Parents Officially Divorce After Two Years Of Reconciliation Attempts (Taletela)

A cheating husband,
An independent woman,
Now a survivor.

Go to article.

Christmas Video Treat! (Hai-news)

Christmas treat released,
All I want for Christmas is...
Billy James Tusker!

Watch Christmas video!

Ticket inspector stabbed on C2C train from Southend to London (BBC)

Stabbers on a train,
Inspector pays painful fare,
Evader evades.

Go to article.

Opening applauded (Bega District News)

Workability,
Service upgrade for small town,
New pad for old crew.

Go to article.

Michael Jackson's hair to be turned into a roulette ball (NME)

Blood on the table,
Don't matter if black or red,
MJ roulette ball.

Go to article.

Weather London (BBC)

Tomorrow's forecast,
Sunny intervals 6 max,
Blustery showers.

Go to article.

25 'starving' dogs maul owner to death (ABC)

Czech dogs go hungry,
Rottweilers turn on their own,
Immediate death.

Go to article.

New tuition fee system 'may mean fewer scientists' (BBC)

As fees reach for sky,
Costly courses will suffer,
Scientists grounded.

Go to article.

Goodwill on tap: Woman pays others' water bills (msnbc.com)

Anonymous gift,

Water for Thanksgiving joy,

Wonderful gesture.

Go to article.

Justin Bieber collaboration with Mariah Carey in ‘All I Want for Christmas’ video draws criticism (NYDailyNews.com)

Biebs is seventeen,
Mariah is forty one,
Raises questions eh?

Go to article.

Click here for my All I Want For Christmas music video!

Elton John declares new war on AIDS (ABC)

Rocket Man starts war,
Elton detests AIDS stigma,
Fights to end disease.

Go to article.

Gay marriage the big issue at ALP conference (SBS)

For Australia,
Labor to back gay marriage,
It's time to vote change.

Go to article.

Rihanna throws a wobbla (The Sun)

Don't stop the music,

Rihanna almost 'man down',

Queen B the mentor.

Go to article.

Federer wins record sixth ATP Tour Final (SMH)

ATP Final,
Federer holds off Tsonga,
Season ending high.

Go to article.

Man with a ring stuck on his penis had to be cut free by 10 firefighters (Metro)

Dial 999,
Man needs freeing from cock-ring,
Firemen not pleased.

Go to article.

Robotic prison wardens to patrol South Korean prison (BBC)

New world robot use,
Prisons go techno-logic,
RoboCop for real.

Go to article.

Kylie Minogue to be inducted into ARIA Hall of Fame (music-news.com)

From Neighbours she came,
Can't get  her out of our heads,
Miss Minogue honoured.

Go to article.

Elephants may be saved by fear of bees (ABC)

Big elephant wimps,

Win-win way to protect land,

Farm bees and scare herds.

Go to article.

Complaints about M&S handbag that 'smells of fish' (Telegraph)

Someone found Nemo?
Some fishy smells in new bags,
M&S stinker.

Go to article.

Philip Morris sues Australia over cigarette packaging (BBC)

Phillip Morris sues,
Plain packaging for Oz smokes,
Marketing nightmare.

Go to article.

Hai-news returns!

Sorry for the break,
Shit got real for a while there,
But Hai-News is back!

Go to article.

Sir Paul McCartney marries US heiress Nancy Shevell (BBC)

Troubles far away,
Beatle marries for third time,
All you need is love.

Go to article.

Teen falls out of car during lovers' tiff (SMH)

Teen hospitalized,

No 'hands-free' for lovers' tiff,
Love really does hurt.

Go to article.

Canadian man friended by thousands from 4,800 messages in a bottle (msnbc)

Social networking,
Bottles thrown into the sea,
Um, littering much?

Go to article.

Tony Bennett makes US chart history (ABC)

Sixty year career,
His heart in San Fransisco,
Bennet tops US.

Go to article.

Powerful Typhoon Nesat hits Philippines (BBC)

At least seven killed,
Strong winds, rain, and crushing floods,
Philippines typhoon!

Go to article.

Match abandoned in Uruguay after linesman is hit with a roll of paper (Telegraph.co.uk)

Crowd problems persist,
Linesman papered to the ground!
Ouch, a paper cut.

Go to article.

Michael Jackson's kids set for reality show? (music-news.com)

Jackson kids thriller,
Don't stop til you get enough,
New reality.

Go to article.

Seven dead as Taliban target US embassy (SBS)

'Cowardly attack,'
Gunman with suicide vests,
Kabul still unsafe.

Go to article.

US Open 2011: Samantha Stosur shocks Serena Williams to take first major (Guardian)

Stosur dominates,
Serena's fury on show,
Aussie grand slam win!

Go to article.

States move to stop deadly pigeon virus (ABC)

Pigeon carriers,
Deadly new virus could spread,
Keep your birds at home.

Go to article.

Adele's 21 breaks ten million mark (music-news.com)

Rolling in the green,
21 sales pass 10 mil,
Another landmark.

Go to article.

Child sexual predators known to parents (SMH)

Oz sex-abused kids,
Fifty-nine thousand each year,
Too frightened to tell.

Go to article.

Endangered species set for stem cell rescue (BBC)

Rhinos and the Drill,
Biology to their aid,
Stem cell survival.

Go to article.

Anyone lost a foot? (SBS)

Washed up on a beach,
Separated by water,
Human foot is found.

Go to article.

Green Day singer ejected from flight (ABC)

Green Day ejected,
American idiot,
Flies low with pants low.

Go to article.

Makers of Nurofen Plus recall all remaining stock (BBC)

'Antipsychotic',
UK Nurofen recalled,

Sabotage fears rise.

Go to article.

74 dead in Iraq's deadliest day in a year (SBS)

Twelve cities attacked,
Seventy-four people dead,
Iraq violence surge.

Go to article.

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez immortalised in nude sculpture (Guardian)

Bieber and Gomez,
Artists subject bronzed and bare,
Forever as one.

Go to article.

Meagher gets Madame Tussauds treatment (ABC)

Hold me in your arms,
Madame Tussauds in Sydney,
Alf Stewart in wax.

Go to article.

England riots: Clean-up as England riots spread (BBC)

Death by car for three,

Riots spread beyond London,

"Unprecedented."

Go to article.

Hundreds of thousands turn out for Gay Pride in Amsterdam (AFP)

"All Together Now,"

Canals paraded with floats,

Amsterdam gay pride.

Go to article.

No time for celebrating as AGT winner Jack Vidgen gets straight to work (Telegraph)

Jack (Bieber) Vidgen,
Australian talent star,
Records his debut.

Go to article.

Clubs reveal all in BBC Sport Price of Football survey (BBC)

Cheap tea in Crawley,
High-priced pies in Arsenal,
The costs of football.

Go to article.

Australian woman sues over sponge left inside her for 15 years (Telegraph)

Miss Sponge-Bob-Squarepants,
Sues Doctor for negligence,
Fifteen years soaked up.

Go to article.

Serena Williams eases past Maria Sharapova in California quarter-final (BBC)

Don't mess with the Queen,
Serena smashed Maria,
Eyes on the final.

Go to article.

Spicks tunes up for Specktacular hurrah (SMH)

Spicks and Specks farewell,
Music quiz show live on stage,
A loved Aussie gem.

Go to article.

Billy gets tired and goes to bed (Hai-news)

I can't be bothered,

All the news is dead today,

I'm going to bed.

Go to article.

Man jailed for wife's brutal hammer murder (The Age)

As children plea stop,
Man kills his wife with hammer,
Twenty-two years jail.

Go to article.

Dolphin hunts with electric sense (BBC)

Dolphins on the hunt,
Electric fields seek out prey,
Electrifying.

Go to article.

Blanchett auctions herself for charity (ABC)

For youth charity,
Lunch with star to be auctioned,
Cate under hammer.

Go to article.

Amy Winehouse found dead, aged 27 (BBC)

Amy 'Back to Black',
Gifted musician found dead,
Aged twenty-seven.

Go to article.

Cadel Evans to be Australia's first Tour de France winner (The Australian)

Ride to remember,
An Aussie takes the yellow,
Evans wins in France!

Go to article.

Suspect confirms responsibility for attacks on Norway (SMH)

Ninety-four are dead,
Explosions and mass shooting,
Man admits cruel acts.

Go to article.

Hinch sentenced to home detention (ABC)

Guilty of contempt,
Two weeks after surgery,
Hot-talker is gagged.

Go to article.

UN to declare famine in parts of drought-hit Somalia (BBC)

Children malnourished,
Worst seen drought in fifty years,
Famine is declared.

Go to article.

World Cup final sets Twitter record (ABC)

World tweets for football,
New 'tweets per second' record,
Japan win World Cup!

Go to article.

Lost US love letter delivered 53 years late (SBS)

Love declaration,
Received 53 years late,
A lifetime gone by.

Go to article.

Carmageddon: Los Angeles 'averts traffic gridlock' (BBC)

Near 'carmageddon',
Fears Aerosmith might sing rose,
Gridlock averted.

Go to article.

J Lo and Marc Anthony announce divorce (ABC)

If Marc had her love...
She's still Jenny from the block,
Though their marriage ends.

Go to article.

Katy Perry insists she sounds like a Smurf (music-news.com)

Sing that cartoon tune,
Perry plays Smurfette in film,
No acting required.

Go to article.

US, Japan to clash in final (SBS)

US chicks can score,
Japanese women have balls,
Who will win World Cup?

Go to article.

Screaming match confronts Julia Gillard on visit to Brisbane shops (news.com.au)

In Green House climate,
PM defends carbon tax,
'Lies' spark screaming match.

Go to article.

Last day at work for Billy Tusker (Hai-news)

HUGE loss for Sensis,

HUGE contributor resigns,

Such a huge ego ;)

Go to article.

Top 10 deadliest animals on the planet (The Telegraph)

5. lion 4. shark,
3. jelly fish 2. cobra,
1. the mosquito.

Go to article.

Victoria and David Beckham have named their newborn daughter Harper Seven (music-news.com)

A new baby spice,
Harper Seven delivered,
Beckhams united.

Go to article.

Shuttle Atlantis docks with space station for last time (BBC)

On its last journey,
Shuttle docks at ISS,
End of an era.

Go to article.

Fans, stars say farewell to Harry Potter (ABC)

Muggles wait in line,
World of wizardry to end,
Last Potter film screens.

Go to article.

Justin Bieber is a bust as magazine cover boy (news.com.au)

Baby, baby, no,
Bieber cover sales chart low,
Never say never.

Go to article.

Rare-Earth Reserves Are Found on Pacific Ocean Floor (WSJ)

A sea mud resource,
Rare-earth minerals found deep,
Extraction challenge.

Go to article.

Australia's NSW police get new burka powers (BBC)

New law is enforced,
'Clarity and certainty',
Show face or face jail.

Go to article.

Cornwall wedding vending machine wins global interest (BBC)

Weddings made easy,
Marriage vended for one pound,
Press '1' for 'I do'.

Go to article.

Decapitated corpses dumped at Mexican newspapers (Telegraph)

Extreme threat message,
Men dumped at newspaper doors,
Decapitated.

Go to article.

Woman charged after kissing preacher at gay pride event (msnbc.com)

Lip-smacked at gay pride,
Preacher claims simple assault,
Preachers should stay home.

Go to article.