New bra has ice, wind chimes (SBS)

Ice, wind, & mint bra,
Japanese innovation,
Cool girls show their cups.

Go to article.

Clinton Cards goes into administration (BBC)

Hi Mister Clinton,
Do you have a card that says
"Sorry you've gone bust"?

Go to article.

Russian jet with 44 aboard missing in Indonesia (ABC)

Hey you, hey you there,
Have you seen my Russian jet?
Yeah, I've lost it, mate.

Go to article.

Wild Things author Maurice Sendak dies at 83 (BBC)

The wise old author,
Who knew where the wild things are,
Dies aged eighty-three.

Go to article.

Short Black: Former boy-band star Dobson to open Guerilla in our midst (SMH)

5ive slam dunk Sydney,
If ya gettin' down, baby,
Go dine underground.

Go to article.

Peru issues public health alert over pelican and dolphin deaths (Guardian)

Pelicans found dead.
Dolphins wash up on the shore.
Beach becomes graveyard.

Go to article.

David Attenborough's 60-year career celebrated in BBC series (Guardian)

Wildlife legend shines,
As his sixty-year career,
Is praised in new show.

Go to article.

James Blunt killed off in internet hoax (music-news.com)

You can see his face
Alive in a crowded place,
Blunt death just a hoax.

Go to article.

Alex Ferguson refuses to give up on title after United defeat Swansea 2-0 (Metro)

A United win,
Title race not over yet,
Climax approaches.

Go to article.

Bigger and brighter "super moon" graces the night sky (BBC)

What's that in the sky?
Is it a bird or a plane?
No, it's Super Moon!

Go to article.

Bodies hung from bridge as 23 more die in Mexico drug war (Guardian)

Mexico drug war,
Bodies found hanging from bridge,
Decapitated.

Go to article.

Beastie Boys star Adam Yauch dies aged 47 (BBC)

The Beastie Boy who
Fought for our right to party,
Loses fight for life.

Go to article.

Iconic artwork "The Scream" sold for $120m (BBC)

A screaming success.
Art icon sells for millions.
A new record's set.

Go to article.

US releases bin Laden documents (ABC)

One year without him,
Bin Laden letters released,
Was all as it seemed?

Go to article.

Marvel Avengers Assemble tops UK box office chart (BBC)

Triumph for Marvel,
As thousands crowd cinemas.
Heroes gain applause.

Go to article.

David Beckham Turns 37 Today (Huffington Post)

Now celebrity,
Becks celebrated right foot
Turns 37.

Go to article.

Blanchett voices character on Family Guy (SMH)

Cate back on TV
As Stewie's evil girlfriend,
New family girl.

Go to article.

A brighter day for most (BBC)

Rain and wind subside,
Sunshine finally breaks through,
Spring, at last, is here.

Go to article.

Farmer refuses to sell rude-shaped plant (Metro)

Farmer shocked to find
His veg is "pleased to see him."
Kinky good-luck charm.

Go to article.

Former LPO conductor suffers stage fall in Paris (BBC)

Strings and brass are hushed,
In a bizarre crescendo,
As conductor slips.

Go to article.

Regina Spektor unveils new song 'Small Town Moon' (NME)

On the radio,
New song, album, gigs to come;
Spektor's 'Small Town Moon'.

Go to article.

For sale: 60 of Britain's iconic red phone boxes (yahoo)

Red phone box for sale,
BT sells British icons,
Make your own Tardis!

Go to article.

KFC must pay $8.3m to poisoned girl in Australia (BBC)

Dodgy chicken wrap,
Leads to million-pound lawsuit,
The Colonel ain't pleased.

Go to article.

Muppets to return in film sequel (BBC)

The Muppets are back!
But without Jason Segal.
Kermit's on his own.

Go to article.

US man's fossil find stumps experts (SBS)

'Godzillus' fossil,
Uncovered in the US,
What on earth is it?

Go to article.

In pictures: Cutty Sark ship-shape once more (BBC)

Ship gutted by flames,
The Cutty Sark in Greenwich,
Finally restored.

Go to article.

Jacksons want a hologram version of Michael for tour (music-news.com

I'm starting with the
Hologram in the mirror,
A Jackson thriller.

Go to article.

The King's Speech play to close in West End (BBC)

The king falls silent,
Film's success unmatched by stage,
Speech abruptly ends.

Go to article.

Chicken without an egg born in Sri Lanka (Metro)

Chicken or the egg?
In Sri Lanka not the egg,
But chicken comes first.

Go to article.

Gotye tops US music chart (ABC)

Aussie tops Billboard,
A first since Savage Garden,
Gotye on top.

Go to article.

Gulf seafood deformities alarm scientists (Aljazeera)

Oil still devastates,
Blind shrimp are catch of the day,
Thanks a lot BP.

Go to article.

"I found 11 films showing my wife in indecent scenes with her lover": Egyptian man's shock as wife pops up in porn film online (Mirror)

Porn-virgin husband,
Surfs the web for dirty films,
Finds his dirty wife.

Go to article.

Jack White streams debut solo album 'Blunderbuss' online (NME)

Jack White's 'Blunderbuss',
From The White Stripes to Itunes,
Solo debut streams.

Go to article.

Tube workers vote to strike over pay row (BBC)

Hello passengers,
There will be major delays
Until they pay us.

Go to article.

Jessie J 'Being Monitored By Doctors' Amidst Health Fears (mtv.co.uk)

Nobody's perfect,
It's not about the money,
But Jessie J's health.

Go to article.

Auroras Seen on Uranus For First Time (National Geographic)

In a stroke of luck
Hubble snaps auroral storms,
Uranus lights up.

Go to article.

Titanic 3D crowns UK box office chart (BBC)

UK number 1,
Titanic is flying, Jack!
Her heart will go on.

Go to article.

Chisel fans left cold after cat bites Moss (ABC)

Rock star cat attack,
Moss 'sorry to be pussy',
Chisel fans left cold.

Go to article.

Half a million Mac computers infected with malware (BBC)

Macs hacked by virus,
Is yours a rotten apple?
Thousands are at risk.

Go to article.

Tourists return to post-war Bosnia (SBS)

Food, wine, and culture,
Tourists back in Bosnia,
A long slow return.

Go to article.

Dannii Minogue, Kris Smith split (ABC)

Announced on twitter,
Please don't judge the Ex-factor,
Dannii and Kris split.

Go to article.

Prince Harry hailed a hero after rescuing injured polo player (Metro)

Prince to the rescue!
Harry 'doing the right thing,'
Saves polo player.

Go to article.

10 stories that could be April Fools pranks but aren't (BBC)

PM pasta sauce,
Lion victim saved by bear,
No donkey parade.

Go to article.

Aung San Suu Kyi wins seat in parliament (ABC)

Aung San Suu Kyi wins
First bid for parliament seat,
Thousands celebrate.

Go to article.

Pesticides hit queen bee numbers (BBC)

Numbers in decline,
Impacts beyond colony,
Pesticides kill bees!

Go to article.

Britney Spears 'wants end to conservatorship' (music-news.com)

Overprotected,
When she tried to fly she fell,
Spears says 'Gimme more'.

Go to article.

Apple offers iPad refunds in Australia over 4G (BBC)

4G advertised,
Apple Ipad in trouble,
Customers misled.

Go to article.

Jet announce break-up after 11 years (Digital Spy)

Rollover DJ,
Please don't play Jet anymore,
Those cold hard bitches.

Go to article.

Hunger Games sets US box office record (BBC)

A box office smash,
Odds in Hunger Games favour,
Action film well fed.

Go to article.

Sydney pips Jets for finals spot (TheWorldGame)

For Sydney FC,
Win against Newcastle Jets,
Captures finals berth.

Go to article.

Stevie Wonder to headline Bestival festival on Isle of Wight (BBC)

I just called to say...
Signed, sealed, delivered, he's ours.
Bestival Wonder!

Go to article.

Michael Phelps sad no rematch but Thorpe 'not the same' (USA Today)

Fish out of water?
Legends showdown not to be,
The Thorpedo sinks.

Go to article.

John Carter Flop To Cost Disney $200m (BBC)

Million dollar loss,
As Disney's new hero bombs,
Kids don't like Carter.

Go to article

Torture By Music (BBC)

To break a mans mind,
Art for joy used to degrade,
Mix tape of torture.

Go to article.

Barry Humphries retires as Dame Edna and Sir Les (perth now)

Last Humphries live shows,
Fond farewell for an icon,
Time to move on, Dame.

Go to article.

Attenborough stage show headed to Australia (ABC)

History on stage,
Sir David heads down under,
A legend talks life.

Go to article.

Bear Grylls Sacked By Discovery Channel (BBC)

Wild man gets the axe,
No more daring adventures,
Goodbye Mr Bear.

Go to article.

Belgium in mourning after 28 die in Swiss coach crash (BBC)

Switzerland coach crash,
Belgium mourns 28 deaths,
Ski trip tragedy.

Go to article.

Nose for Arctic oil makes Shell's ears prick up (SMH)

Shell explores new means,
Beneath arctic snow and ice,
Sniffer dogs sniff oil.

Go to article.

Kazakhstan national anthem replaced by Ricky Martin song (mirror)

Pride of Kazakhstan,
Livin' la Vida Loca,
An anthem blunder.

Go to article.

World's first cupcake ATM (SBS)

CAKES CAKES CUPCAKES CAKES!
Vending ALL DAY from machine!
Keeps Bridie happy!

Go to article.

Sydney Tattoo Parlour Hit By Bullets (7news)

No ink in this gun,
Sydney shootings on the rise,
Tattoo parlours hit.

Go to article.

I turned down Eurovision: Donovan (SMH)

To dodge 'microscope',
Neighbours-has-been Donovan
Snubbed Eurovision.

Go to article.

Condoms mandatory for porn actors (msn)

More safe sex on set,
Rubbery days for porn stars,
Enforced protection.

Go to article.

Rihanna 'Brown track wasn't shock tactic' (music-news.com)

Riri runs from Brown,
S.O.S someone help her,
Love found in London?

Go to article.

Riverina residents to spend night in emergency accomodation (ABC)

Days of heavy rain,
Hundreds evacuated,
Riverina floods.

Go to article.

Engelbert Humperdinck is UK Eurovision act for 2012 (BBC)

In Azerbaijan,
'King of Romance' Humperdink,
Sings Eurovision.

Go to article.

Funniest exam answers become internet sensation (Telegraph)

Funny online craze,
'Giraffes are heartless creatures',
Pupils the punchline.

Go to article.

Rain stops playing: Playground Weekender festival cancelled (SMH)

Playground weekender,
Torrential rain predicted,
Festival washed out.

Go to article.

Big NZ fossil penguin reconstructed (BBC)

From fossil remains,
Extinct bird reconstructed,
New Zealand penguin.

Go to article.

Party time in Brazil as Carnival gets under way (SBS)

Glittering parades,
Unabashed merry-making,
Party in Rio!

Go to article.

Shakira tweets about sea lion attack in Cape Town (The Telegraph)

Shakira makes claim,
Sea lion attacks 'She Wolf',
And her hips don't lie.

Go to article.

Bus driver charged with filming passengers (ABC)

Cameras in bus floor,
Passengers filmed from below,
Sydney driver charged.

Go to article.

Man jailed for chainsaw attack in a Hull public house (BBC)

Man jailed for 3 years,
Hull pub chainsaw massacre,
Tekken addiction?

Go to article.

Whitney Houston, dead at 48, will be remembered at Grammy’s (sun-times)

Unknown cause of death,
Houston we have a problem,
We'll always love you.

Go to article.

Space skydiver seeks record (SBS)

Aussie seeks record,
Skydiver to fall from space,
Jump fraught with danger.

Go to article.

Lana Del Rey conquers UK album chart (BBC)

Lana plays no games,
Del Ray debuts number 1,
Born to dominate.

Go to article.

Bee Gees' Robin Gibb 'feels fantastic' after cancer recovery (NME)

Feeling fantastic,
Robin Gibb stayin' alive,
Avoids tragedy.

Go to article.

Newsmaker: Louie the Fly (SMH)

Mortein swats its staff,
Louie and 200 jobs
Move offshore from Oz.

Go to article.

First Plants Caused Ice Ages, New Research Reveals (Science Daily)

As first plants emerged,
Atmosphere lost CO2,
Temperatures tumbled.

Go to article.

Facebook to go public in billion-dollar IPO (ABC)

From college dorm room
Society was transformed,
Now purchase your share.

Go to article.

Disabled NSW kids to get their buses soon (SBS)

Disabled stranded,
Contractors offered more pay,
Kids to ride again!

Go to article.

ABBA album preview (music-news.com)

New ABBA release,
First since 1994,
Here we go again.

Go to article.

Djokovic wins epic final (ABC)

Tennis history,
In longest ever final,

Djokovic victor.

Go to article.

Victoria Azarenka hails 'dream' Australian Open triumph (BBC)

Grand slam down under,
Azarenka wins open,
New world number 1.

Go to article.

Bill Gates: I don't pay enough tax (BBC)

Richest man on earth,
Refuses to pay taxes,
What a massive twat!

Author: Fred Palmer
Go to article.

Solar storms trigger stunning displays of Northern Lights (Birmingham Mail)

Intense solar storms,
Magic aurora display,
Rare sight for UK.

Go to article.

Heidi Klum, Seal confirm split (ABC)

After three children,
And seven years of marriage,
Seal and Klum part ways.

Go to article.

Brazil police storm landless settlement near Sao Paulo (BBC)

Riot police storm,
Operation eviction,
Settlement reclaimed.

Go to article.

Can oldies Beckham and Giggs really be golden at the Olympics? (Sports review)

The 'golden oldies',
Veterans may reunite
For Olympic dream.

Go to article.

Meryl Streep Devastated She Swore On Stage At Golden Globes (entertainmentwise)

At the Golden Globes
Meryl 'Iron Lady' Streep
Swears in trophy win.

Go to article.

Australian researchers name rare horsefly after Beyonce (Metro)

Fun taxonomy,
Fly's 'Goldmember' derrière
receives pop-star name.

Go to article.

US warns of Bangkok terrorist threat (SMH)

US tracks suspects,
Tourists warned in Thai kingdom,
Terror threat looming.

Go to article.

Web addicts have brain changes, research suggests (BBC)

Addictive web-use,
Disrupted brain connections,
Like drugs or drinking.

Go to article.

Russian baby disappears in sewer (ABC)

Pavement collapses,
Woman and stroller rescued,
No baby in sight.

Go to article.

Rihanna Confirms Beyonce's Baby Girl's Birth via Twitter (ibtimes)

With Jay-Z's blueprint
Blue Ivy Carter arrives,
Lookin' so crazy!

Go to article.

Seabird hunting ban proposed by Icelandic scientists (Icenews)

Complete protection
Seen as only way to save
Five species at risk.

Go to article.

Advantage Australia as Clarke's triple ton puts hosts in box seat (SMH)

A cricket legend,
Declares short of great record,
A true team-player.

Go to article.

Bloc Party demo new album in New York (music-news.com)

Back from hiatus,
Bloc Party in the US
Begin fourth album.

Go to article.

New Year's Eve 2012: Celebrations around the world (BBC)

World celebrations,
Fireworks ring in new year,
All parties and smiles.

Go to article.