Federer wins record sixth ATP Tour Final (SMH)

ATP Final,
Federer holds off Tsonga,
Season ending high.

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Man with a ring stuck on his penis had to be cut free by 10 firefighters (Metro)

Dial 999,
Man needs freeing from cock-ring,
Firemen not pleased.

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Robotic prison wardens to patrol South Korean prison (BBC)

New world robot use,
Prisons go techno-logic,
RoboCop for real.

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Kylie Minogue to be inducted into ARIA Hall of Fame (music-news.com)

From Neighbours she came,
Can't get  her out of our heads,
Miss Minogue honoured.

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Elephants may be saved by fear of bees (ABC)

Big elephant wimps,

Win-win way to protect land,

Farm bees and scare herds.

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Complaints about M&S handbag that 'smells of fish' (Telegraph)

Someone found Nemo?
Some fishy smells in new bags,
M&S stinker.

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Philip Morris sues Australia over cigarette packaging (BBC)

Phillip Morris sues,
Plain packaging for Oz smokes,
Marketing nightmare.

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Hai-news returns!

Sorry for the break,
Shit got real for a while there,
But Hai-News is back!

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