Prince Harry hailed a hero after rescuing injured polo player (Metro)

Prince to the rescue!
Harry 'doing the right thing,'
Saves polo player.

Go to article.

10 stories that could be April Fools pranks but aren't (BBC)

PM pasta sauce,
Lion victim saved by bear,
No donkey parade.

Go to article.

Aung San Suu Kyi wins seat in parliament (ABC)

Aung San Suu Kyi wins
First bid for parliament seat,
Thousands celebrate.

Go to article.

Pesticides hit queen bee numbers (BBC)

Numbers in decline,
Impacts beyond colony,
Pesticides kill bees!

Go to article.

Britney Spears 'wants end to conservatorship' (music-news.com)

Overprotected,
When she tried to fly she fell,
Spears says 'Gimme more'.

Go to article.

Apple offers iPad refunds in Australia over 4G (BBC)

4G advertised,
Apple Ipad in trouble,
Customers misled.

Go to article.

Jet announce break-up after 11 years (Digital Spy)

Rollover DJ,
Please don't play Jet anymore,
Those cold hard bitches.

Go to article.

Hunger Games sets US box office record (BBC)

A box office smash,
Odds in Hunger Games favour,
Action film well fed.

Go to article.

Sydney pips Jets for finals spot (TheWorldGame)

For Sydney FC,
Win against Newcastle Jets,
Captures finals berth.

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Stevie Wonder to headline Bestival festival on Isle of Wight (BBC)

I just called to say...
Signed, sealed, delivered, he's ours.
Bestival Wonder!

Go to article.

Michael Phelps sad no rematch but Thorpe 'not the same' (USA Today)

Fish out of water?
Legends showdown not to be,
The Thorpedo sinks.

Go to article.

John Carter Flop To Cost Disney $200m (BBC)

Million dollar loss,
As Disney's new hero bombs,
Kids don't like Carter.

Go to article

Torture By Music (BBC)

To break a mans mind,
Art for joy used to degrade,
Mix tape of torture.

Go to article.

Barry Humphries retires as Dame Edna and Sir Les (perth now)

Last Humphries live shows,
Fond farewell for an icon,
Time to move on, Dame.

Go to article.

Attenborough stage show headed to Australia (ABC)

History on stage,
Sir David heads down under,
A legend talks life.

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Bear Grylls Sacked By Discovery Channel (BBC)

Wild man gets the axe,
No more daring adventures,
Goodbye Mr Bear.

Go to article.

Belgium in mourning after 28 die in Swiss coach crash (BBC)

Switzerland coach crash,
Belgium mourns 28 deaths,
Ski trip tragedy.

Go to article.

Nose for Arctic oil makes Shell's ears prick up (SMH)

Shell explores new means,
Beneath arctic snow and ice,
Sniffer dogs sniff oil.

Go to article.

Kazakhstan national anthem replaced by Ricky Martin song (mirror)

Pride of Kazakhstan,
Livin' la Vida Loca,
An anthem blunder.

Go to article.

World's first cupcake ATM (SBS)

CAKES CAKES CUPCAKES CAKES!
Vending ALL DAY from machine!
Keeps Bridie happy!

Go to article.

Sydney Tattoo Parlour Hit By Bullets (7news)

No ink in this gun,
Sydney shootings on the rise,
Tattoo parlours hit.

Go to article.

I turned down Eurovision: Donovan (SMH)

To dodge 'microscope',
Neighbours-has-been Donovan
Snubbed Eurovision.

Go to article.

Condoms mandatory for porn actors (msn)

More safe sex on set,
Rubbery days for porn stars,
Enforced protection.

Go to article.

Rihanna 'Brown track wasn't shock tactic' (music-news.com)

Riri runs from Brown,
S.O.S someone help her,
Love found in London?

Go to article.

Riverina residents to spend night in emergency accomodation (ABC)

Days of heavy rain,
Hundreds evacuated,
Riverina floods.

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Engelbert Humperdinck is UK Eurovision act for 2012 (BBC)

In Azerbaijan,
'King of Romance' Humperdink,
Sings Eurovision.

Go to article.

Funniest exam answers become internet sensation (Telegraph)

Funny online craze,
'Giraffes are heartless creatures',
Pupils the punchline.

Go to article.

Rain stops playing: Playground Weekender festival cancelled (SMH)

Playground weekender,
Torrential rain predicted,
Festival washed out.

Go to article.

Big NZ fossil penguin reconstructed (BBC)

From fossil remains,
Extinct bird reconstructed,
New Zealand penguin.

Go to article.

Party time in Brazil as Carnival gets under way (SBS)

Glittering parades,
Unabashed merry-making,
Party in Rio!

Go to article.

Shakira tweets about sea lion attack in Cape Town (The Telegraph)

Shakira makes claim,
Sea lion attacks 'She Wolf',
And her hips don't lie.

Go to article.

Bus driver charged with filming passengers (ABC)

Cameras in bus floor,
Passengers filmed from below,
Sydney driver charged.

Go to article.

Man jailed for chainsaw attack in a Hull public house (BBC)

Man jailed for 3 years,
Hull pub chainsaw massacre,
Tekken addiction?

Go to article.

Whitney Houston, dead at 48, will be remembered at Grammy’s (sun-times)

Unknown cause of death,
Houston we have a problem,
We'll always love you.

Go to article.

Space skydiver seeks record (SBS)

Aussie seeks record,
Skydiver to fall from space,
Jump fraught with danger.

Go to article.

Lana Del Rey conquers UK album chart (BBC)

Lana plays no games,
Del Ray debuts number 1,
Born to dominate.

Go to article.

Bee Gees' Robin Gibb 'feels fantastic' after cancer recovery (NME)

Feeling fantastic,
Robin Gibb stayin' alive,
Avoids tragedy.

Go to article.

Newsmaker: Louie the Fly (SMH)

Mortein swats its staff,
Louie and 200 jobs
Move offshore from Oz.

Go to article.

First Plants Caused Ice Ages, New Research Reveals (Science Daily)

As first plants emerged,
Atmosphere lost CO2,
Temperatures tumbled.

Go to article.

Facebook to go public in billion-dollar IPO (ABC)

From college dorm room
Society was transformed,
Now purchase your share.

Go to article.

Disabled NSW kids to get their buses soon (SBS)

Disabled stranded,
Contractors offered more pay,
Kids to ride again!

Go to article.

ABBA album preview (music-news.com)

New ABBA release,
First since 1994,
Here we go again.

Go to article.

Djokovic wins epic final (ABC)

Tennis history,
In longest ever final,

Djokovic victor.

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Victoria Azarenka hails 'dream' Australian Open triumph (BBC)

Grand slam down under,
Azarenka wins open,
New world number 1.

Go to article.

Bill Gates: I don't pay enough tax (BBC)

Richest man on earth,
Refuses to pay taxes,
What a massive twat!

Author: Fred Palmer
Go to article.

Solar storms trigger stunning displays of Northern Lights (Birmingham Mail)

Intense solar storms,
Magic aurora display,
Rare sight for UK.

Go to article.

Heidi Klum, Seal confirm split (ABC)

After three children,
And seven years of marriage,
Seal and Klum part ways.

Go to article.

Brazil police storm landless settlement near Sao Paulo (BBC)

Riot police storm,
Operation eviction,
Settlement reclaimed.

Go to article.

Can oldies Beckham and Giggs really be golden at the Olympics? (Sports review)

The 'golden oldies',
Veterans may reunite
For Olympic dream.

Go to article.

Meryl Streep Devastated She Swore On Stage At Golden Globes (entertainmentwise)

At the Golden Globes
Meryl 'Iron Lady' Streep
Swears in trophy win.

Go to article.

Australian researchers name rare horsefly after Beyonce (Metro)

Fun taxonomy,
Fly's 'Goldmember' derrière
receives pop-star name.

Go to article.

US warns of Bangkok terrorist threat (SMH)

US tracks suspects,
Tourists warned in Thai kingdom,
Terror threat looming.

Go to article.

Web addicts have brain changes, research suggests (BBC)

Addictive web-use,
Disrupted brain connections,
Like drugs or drinking.

Go to article.

Russian baby disappears in sewer (ABC)

Pavement collapses,
Woman and stroller rescued,
No baby in sight.

Go to article.

Rihanna Confirms Beyonce's Baby Girl's Birth via Twitter (ibtimes)

With Jay-Z's blueprint
Blue Ivy Carter arrives,
Lookin' so crazy!

Go to article.

Seabird hunting ban proposed by Icelandic scientists (Icenews)

Complete protection
Seen as only way to save
Five species at risk.

Go to article.

Advantage Australia as Clarke's triple ton puts hosts in box seat (SMH)

A cricket legend,
Declares short of great record,
A true team-player.

Go to article.

Bloc Party demo new album in New York (music-news.com)

Back from hiatus,
Bloc Party in the US
Begin fourth album.

Go to article.

New Year's Eve 2012: Celebrations around the world (BBC)

World celebrations,
Fireworks ring in new year,
All parties and smiles.

Go to article.

English city deters teens with pig dung (SBS)

Alcohol, weed, drugs,
All hoped to be removed with
Spreading of pig-dung.

Go to article.

'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' reboot set to be scrapped (NME)

Buffy put on ice,

Screenwriter slain for shit work,

Film may be slain too.

Go to article.

Bush bandit 'surviving on roo and wombat' (SMH)

Despite large man-hunt,
Wanted man remains concealed,
Raw bush-meat sustains.

Go to article.

Oxford Street stabbing: Teenager dies near sports store (BBC)

Shopping tragedies,

Thousands shocked on Oxford Street

As young men are stabbed.

Go to article.

First Earth-sized planets spotted (BBC)

A so-called Earth-twin,
Planet like ours discovered,
Too much heat for life.

Go to article.

Beyonce's Parents Officially Divorce After Two Years Of Reconciliation Attempts (Taletela)

A cheating husband,
An independent woman,
Now a survivor.

Go to article.

Christmas Video Treat! (Hai-news)

Christmas treat released,
All I want for Christmas is...
Billy James Tusker!

Watch Christmas video!

Ticket inspector stabbed on C2C train from Southend to London (BBC)

Stabbers on a train,
Inspector pays painful fare,
Evader evades.

Go to article.

Opening applauded (Bega District News)

Workability,
Service upgrade for small town,
New pad for old crew.

Go to article.

Michael Jackson's hair to be turned into a roulette ball (NME)

Blood on the table,
Don't matter if black or red,
MJ roulette ball.

Go to article.

Weather London (BBC)

Tomorrow's forecast,
Sunny intervals 6 max,
Blustery showers.

Go to article.

25 'starving' dogs maul owner to death (ABC)

Czech dogs go hungry,
Rottweilers turn on their own,
Immediate death.

Go to article.

New tuition fee system 'may mean fewer scientists' (BBC)

As fees reach for sky,
Costly courses will suffer,
Scientists grounded.

Go to article.

Goodwill on tap: Woman pays others' water bills (msnbc.com)

Anonymous gift,

Water for Thanksgiving joy,

Wonderful gesture.

Go to article.

Justin Bieber collaboration with Mariah Carey in ‘All I Want for Christmas’ video draws criticism (NYDailyNews.com)

Biebs is seventeen,
Mariah is forty one,
Raises questions eh?

Go to article.

Click here for my All I Want For Christmas music video!

Elton John declares new war on AIDS (ABC)

Rocket Man starts war,
Elton detests AIDS stigma,
Fights to end disease.

Go to article.

Gay marriage the big issue at ALP conference (SBS)

For Australia,
Labor to back gay marriage,
It's time to vote change.

Go to article.

Rihanna throws a wobbla (The Sun)

Don't stop the music,

Rihanna almost 'man down',

Queen B the mentor.

Go to article.

Federer wins record sixth ATP Tour Final (SMH)

ATP Final,
Federer holds off Tsonga,
Season ending high.

Go to article.

Man with a ring stuck on his penis had to be cut free by 10 firefighters (Metro)

Dial 999,
Man needs freeing from cock-ring,
Firemen not pleased.

Go to article.

Robotic prison wardens to patrol South Korean prison (BBC)

New world robot use,
Prisons go techno-logic,
RoboCop for real.

Go to article.

Kylie Minogue to be inducted into ARIA Hall of Fame (music-news.com)

From Neighbours she came,
Can't get  her out of our heads,
Miss Minogue honoured.

Go to article.

Elephants may be saved by fear of bees (ABC)

Big elephant wimps,

Win-win way to protect land,

Farm bees and scare herds.

Go to article.

Complaints about M&S handbag that 'smells of fish' (Telegraph)

Someone found Nemo?
Some fishy smells in new bags,
M&S stinker.

Go to article.

Philip Morris sues Australia over cigarette packaging (BBC)

Phillip Morris sues,
Plain packaging for Oz smokes,
Marketing nightmare.

Go to article.

Hai-news returns!

Sorry for the break,
Shit got real for a while there,
But Hai-News is back!

Go to article.

Sir Paul McCartney marries US heiress Nancy Shevell (BBC)

Troubles far away,
Beatle marries for third time,
All you need is love.

Go to article.

Teen falls out of car during lovers' tiff (SMH)

Teen hospitalized,

No 'hands-free' for lovers' tiff,
Love really does hurt.

Go to article.

Canadian man friended by thousands from 4,800 messages in a bottle (msnbc)

Social networking,
Bottles thrown into the sea,
Um, littering much?

Go to article.

Tony Bennett makes US chart history (ABC)

Sixty year career,
His heart in San Fransisco,
Bennet tops US.

Go to article.

Powerful Typhoon Nesat hits Philippines (BBC)

At least seven killed,
Strong winds, rain, and crushing floods,
Philippines typhoon!

Go to article.

Match abandoned in Uruguay after linesman is hit with a roll of paper (Telegraph.co.uk)

Crowd problems persist,
Linesman papered to the ground!
Ouch, a paper cut.

Go to article.

Michael Jackson's kids set for reality show? (music-news.com)

Jackson kids thriller,
Don't stop til you get enough,
New reality.

Go to article.

Seven dead as Taliban target US embassy (SBS)

'Cowardly attack,'
Gunman with suicide vests,
Kabul still unsafe.

Go to article.

US Open 2011: Samantha Stosur shocks Serena Williams to take first major (Guardian)

Stosur dominates,
Serena's fury on show,
Aussie grand slam win!

Go to article.

States move to stop deadly pigeon virus (ABC)

Pigeon carriers,
Deadly new virus could spread,
Keep your birds at home.

Go to article.

Adele's 21 breaks ten million mark (music-news.com)

Rolling in the green,
21 sales pass 10 mil,
Another landmark.

Go to article.

Child sexual predators known to parents (SMH)

Oz sex-abused kids,
Fifty-nine thousand each year,
Too frightened to tell.

Go to article.

Endangered species set for stem cell rescue (BBC)

Rhinos and the Drill,
Biology to their aid,
Stem cell survival.

Go to article.

Anyone lost a foot? (SBS)

Washed up on a beach,
Separated by water,
Human foot is found.

Go to article.

Green Day singer ejected from flight (ABC)

Green Day ejected,
American idiot,
Flies low with pants low.

Go to article.