Natalie Portman welcomes a son with fiancé Benjamin Millepied (Daily Mail)

Portman gains new role,
The Swan Queen spawns cygnet Prince,
Vegan days are gone.

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Nepal declared free of mines five years after civil war (BBC)

Last minefield destroyed,
A milestone on road to peace,
Still long way to go.

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Palfrey sets ocean swim record (ABC)

In shark-filled waters,
Over forty hours swam,
New swim record set.

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Tyson, Tszyu inducted into Hall of Fame (ABC)

Boxing legends praised,
Great fights there for all to chew,
Mike the main event.

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Grandmother gets eviction notice for gang activity (9news)

No gang bang Grandma,
Landlord wrongly points finger,
Nan could be forced out.

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Katy Perry gives Rebecca Black another shot at viral fame (The Arizona Republic)

Friday all but gone,
Katy Perry brings Black back,
We so excited!

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Citibank confirms hacking attack (BBC)

Another hacking,
Private details compromised,
As wars move on-line.

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Kill a camel, claim a carbon credit (Herald Sun)

New Oz carbon plan,
Cull camels to cull methane,
Could mines be culled first?

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Titanic II sinks on maiden voyage (ABC)

No icebergs in sight,
Yet Titanic II still sinks,
Her heart will go on.

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US congressman admits crotch pics (SBS)

Weiner shares weiner,
Shows his balls with admission,
Still has funny name.

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French Open: Rafael Nadal beats Roger Federer to win title (BBC)

Roger fed a serve,
Nadal claims sixth French Open,
His tenth grand-slam win.

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Chile: Puyehue volcano chain erupts, forcing evacuation (BBC)

Smoke and ash clouds rise,
Evacuations ordered,
A region erupts.

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Shania Twain gets Hollywood star (ABC)

From this moment on,
Shania always a star,
Surely now impressed.

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The Village People To Judge Bestival Fancy-Dress Competition (NME)

Fancy-dress Gurus

Hold lifetime of joy in hand

Judgement Day is nigh.

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Spain furious at cucumber slurs (SBS)

Sick of the food fight,
Spain proves their vegetables good,
Still E-coli spreads.

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Bieber's Blue Blood: JB Signs Deal With Middleton Family

Future Queen-Mum sells
Justin Bieber Party Kit!
Like, majorly Squeeeeee!!! ^________^

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Bjork's New Album To Be Released With IPad App For Every Song (musicnews.com)

"Biophilia"

Released as app and album

Industry's future?

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Russian man dies burying himself alive (Telegraph UK)

Aim: test endurance,
Procedure: bury yourself,
Result: foolish man.

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East 17 Reunite!

In the house of love,

Original bad-boy band,

Stay another day!

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Hobbit movie names are announced (BBC)

Frodo will return,
Two new Lord Of The Rings films,
Hobbit is the word.

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