Federer wins record sixth ATP Tour Final (SMH)

ATP Final,
Federer holds off Tsonga,
Season ending high.

Go to article.

Man with a ring stuck on his penis had to be cut free by 10 firefighters (Metro)

Dial 999,
Man needs freeing from cock-ring,
Firemen not pleased.

Go to article.

Robotic prison wardens to patrol South Korean prison (BBC)

New world robot use,
Prisons go techno-logic,
RoboCop for real.

Go to article.

Kylie Minogue to be inducted into ARIA Hall of Fame (music-news.com)

From Neighbours she came,
Can't get  her out of our heads,
Miss Minogue honoured.

Go to article.

Elephants may be saved by fear of bees (ABC)

Big elephant wimps,

Win-win way to protect land,

Farm bees and scare herds.

Go to article.

Complaints about M&S handbag that 'smells of fish' (Telegraph)

Someone found Nemo?
Some fishy smells in new bags,
M&S stinker.

Go to article.

Philip Morris sues Australia over cigarette packaging (BBC)

Phillip Morris sues,
Plain packaging for Oz smokes,
Marketing nightmare.

Go to article.

Hai-news returns!

Sorry for the break,
Shit got real for a while there,
But Hai-News is back!

Go to article.

Sir Paul McCartney marries US heiress Nancy Shevell (BBC)

Troubles far away,
Beatle marries for third time,
All you need is love.

Go to article.

Teen falls out of car during lovers' tiff (SMH)

Teen hospitalized,

No 'hands-free' for lovers' tiff,
Love really does hurt.

Go to article.

Canadian man friended by thousands from 4,800 messages in a bottle (msnbc)

Social networking,
Bottles thrown into the sea,
Um, littering much?

Go to article.

Tony Bennett makes US chart history (ABC)

Sixty year career,
His heart in San Fransisco,
Bennet tops US.

Go to article.

Powerful Typhoon Nesat hits Philippines (BBC)

At least seven killed,
Strong winds, rain, and crushing floods,
Philippines typhoon!

Go to article.

Match abandoned in Uruguay after linesman is hit with a roll of paper (Telegraph.co.uk)

Crowd problems persist,
Linesman papered to the ground!
Ouch, a paper cut.

Go to article.

Michael Jackson's kids set for reality show? (music-news.com)

Jackson kids thriller,
Don't stop til you get enough,
New reality.

Go to article.

Seven dead as Taliban target US embassy (SBS)

'Cowardly attack,'
Gunman with suicide vests,
Kabul still unsafe.

Go to article.

US Open 2011: Samantha Stosur shocks Serena Williams to take first major (Guardian)

Stosur dominates,
Serena's fury on show,
Aussie grand slam win!

Go to article.

States move to stop deadly pigeon virus (ABC)

Pigeon carriers,
Deadly new virus could spread,
Keep your birds at home.

Go to article.

Adele's 21 breaks ten million mark (music-news.com)

Rolling in the green,
21 sales pass 10 mil,
Another landmark.

Go to article.

Child sexual predators known to parents (SMH)

Oz sex-abused kids,
Fifty-nine thousand each year,
Too frightened to tell.

Go to article.